The other day, agent Janet Reid wrote on her blog something to the effect that if you want to stop getting rejections, then simply stop querying. That got me thinking… Some of us are still querying, but don’t plan on stopping. Other of us are farther along, going through the submission process, editing, and generally spending large portions of our time involved in this business of writing. We can’t really stop, and wouldn’t want to if we could. But we all have developed mechanisms for dealing with the blows of publishing (sometimes, just the glacial pace feels like a blow!). So yesterday, I sent out an email to many of my writer friends and asked them: What do you do to cheer yourself up/carry on when writing/querying/publishing gets you down?

Here are their wonderful answers:

Eve Brown-Waite

I remind myself of how incredibly blessed I am that I am safe, I have a (fairly) warm home to live in, enough food to keep my family from starving, a good husband and healthy children. I try to remember that just by having that, I have more than perhaps 95% of world’s women. With that in mind, EVERYTHING ELSE IS GRAVY!  Yes, the publishing industry can grind you to dust, but if you can manage to place it in context of the much larger picture, it just doesn’t seem as awful.

Kathryn Erskine

Talk with someone who thinks anything you write or do is wonderful — your mother, grandmother, friend, baby, dog.  Sure, they may not know the industry, but you know that you can write, that you’re improving all the time, and that it’s just a matter of your manuscript being in the right place at the right time.  If that doesn’t work, or even if it does, eat chocolate!

Joni Sensel

What I do is:

• Go for longer walks;
• Remember that I write first to better understand life and second in service to the story (with publication and sales a distant third);
• Do more journaling or “by-hand” writing and less work on the computer, which helps take the goal orientation out of it and makes it more fun and “just for me;”
• Spend less time online, so I can get away from what sometimes seems like “Everyone has good news but me!” (though I know that’s a skewed perspective); and
• Read something for pleasure, not for research (which usually means a great adult book or Stephen King).

And finally, it really does help to connect with other published writers in person and hear their stories of the tribulations we all share and just usually won’t talk about.

Meredith Cole

What do I do when this crazy business gets to me?

Take a walk and clear my head.

Write down everything great I have to be thankful for.

Reread a journal entry I wrote when I was trying desperately to get something that I wanted (an agent, a book deal, a book finished)–and that I now have.  Remember how great that feeling was and know that it will come back again.

Anonymous

I call my agent and cry. She tells me I’m brilliant. I don’t actually believe her, but I believe her enough so I can get back to work. I know–I’m totally pathetic, but hey, whatever works to get my butt back in the chair is fine with me.

Janette Rallison

When I get down about the business side of writing, I go do something with my family as a reminder that they’re really the important thing in my life.  Writing is secondary.

Eileen Cook

When the business side of publishing gets me down, I remember that the art and craft of writing is my true love. Publishing is just the means of sharing the stories. Then I consume large amounts of chocolate.

Anonymous

When I’m discouraged about querying and the idea of being published loses its charm, I fire off an email to a cherished SCBWI friend. She always cheers me up, kicks me in the rear, and revs me up again—in that order.

Alicia Bessette

I either walk outside with my dog, or take a dance break. Movement and music do wonders for my perspective, when it needs refreshing.

Jane Yolen

I remind myself that I had not yet found the editor who was right for the book, but had narrowed down the list.

Michael Bourret

What do I do to cheer myself when publishing gets me down?  I like to separate the personal from the business, and I always try to focus on the things I can change.  It’s not easy!

Sue Bradford Edwards

Actually, I’ve blogged about this myself.  I have a Rejection Jar with slips of paper in it.  Each slip is a gift to me upon the arrival of a depressing rejection — knitting time, puzzle time, a good long walk.  Here are the links to the “jar” and two related posts:

The Rejection Jar
When the Jar Doesn’t cut it
Talking it out w/ a writing buddy

Kristin Tubb

I take a break from writing for a few days if I feel really down.  I start to miss it almost immediately, and when I ache to write again, I remember that I don’t do this for others, I do it for me.  Don’t get me wrong – I love being published!  But I’d still write even if I knew I’d never be published again.

Alexa Barry

Eat chocolate! No, seriously, when I think my story sucks and I am an idiot to be wasting time writing, I read. Strange, I know, you’d think it would depress me further, but I’ve always been comforted and inspired by books. When I put a book down, having been swept into another world, I feel energized and ready to go and try and create a world to sweep people into, with the help of a chocolate bar, of course.

Joëlle Anthony

What do I do? Well, I send out an email to all my writer pals and ask for their advice. And then I try to take it. Please add more in the comments!

As a matter of interest, agent Nathan Bransford asked almost the same question on his blog about 6 hours after I sent out my email to friends. Okay, who tipped him off that this was a great blog topic???? Just kidding. But you might want to stop by there for some tips on how to get through the “waiting.”

Also, I will do another post like this with more ideas if they keep coming in.